London is a city, a city with roads and pavements. There are no fields to trek across, just parks with clearly marked footpaths. Although it can be cold, you’re never in danger of being stranded anywhere without ready access to food and shelter. With that in mind, here’s our winter fashion guidance.
Don't wear...
Outdoor jackets – of the breathable, waterproof type made for outdoor pursuits. While they have their place in the active city dweller’s wardrobe, they have no place on your daily commute worn over a Brooks Brothers suit. It just looks silly.
Waterproof trousers - Unless you’re incontinent, or enjoying a spot of poly bagging on your way to work (see The Peryls guide to winter weather) - in which case, well done - you’re unlikely to spend much time on your bottom. Yes, you might fall over in the snow but wearing waterproof trousers will just further your humiliation and incite sniggering from those helping you to your feet.
It’s a bit like not wearing your worst pants in case you get run over by a bus and the doctor sees them... It’s good advice.
Walking Poles - Seriously? While trotting down one of the steeper hills in this lovely suburb a man was spotted carrying a walking pole and sporting a waterproof jacket. The initial assumption that he was off for a day out hiking in the countryside fell over when his briefcase, suit and walking boots (see below) were also noted. Walking poles have pointy ends that agree very well with mud and are helpful when scaling a rocky outcrop. They do not agree with concrete.
Walking boots - A tricky subject due to the array of styles and purposes of such footwear. Full-on boots capable of taking crampons and intended for walks on the scale of say, the coast-to-coast, are unwieldy in the city. If we're honest, Londoners probably only walk two miles a day and half of that will be getting from the escalators to the tube platform. At a pinch, a mid-boot (a cross between a trainer and a walking boot) is acceptable on very slippery days and will only look slightly silly.
Do wear...
Woollen coats - If they were good enough in the trenches, they’re good enough for the city. Warm, durable and surprisingly waterproof. A classic cut will last for years so invest and wear with style.
Wrist warmers - A new favourite layering piece and fantastic for wearing over the top of regular gloves if it's super chilly. You can also pretend you hands have disappeared, which is fun.
Hats - We've all heard that we lose most of our heat through our heads and it turns out it's true! We Peryls love hats. Hats come in all shapes and sizes so be mindful to pick out a style that suits the rest of your outfit.
If you’re suited up for work, wearing your classic wool coat, a knitted number with huge pompoms would rather kill your otherwise excellent effort.
Remember, Cave-hat Emptor.
Wraps and shawls - A great way for ladies to add an extra layer. While throwing one over your shoulder, do make sure to add a hair toss for extra impact. If you’re a man and you’re wearing one, there’s a good chance that everyone will already think you’re a tosser, so this is unnecessary.
Look, we can’t promise that all our advice stands up, but then in this weather, we can’t promise you’ll stand up either.
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