The Peryls of the Desert

So, here I am in Wadi Rum, Jordan.  I’d never heard of this place before I came here so if you are a fellow ignoramus it’s a desert region and it’s really pretty in a barren sort of way.  I have come here to camp for the night.  Anyone who knows me personally will know why this is funny.

Most of my fellow travellers, including Mr. BP and Millie have gone off on a camel trek.  I once had a painful experience with a camel in Egypt involving a pommel and my pubic bone, so I opted out.  Instead I have wandered away from the camp with a bottle of water, some wafer biscuits and a notebook.

The idea was that I would come and sit in solitude and have some sort of Jim Morrison type vision (preferably with a naked Indian) and write the song of my life.  So far I’ve written a rude poem, which is making me laugh.  No one can hear me, which is probably a good thing, but it’s also a bit sad and a bit scary.

Let me tell you a little more about my surroundings.  I’m sat on a sandstone rock with weird holes in it.  I can see a lot of sand and a lot of other rocks with holes in them.  There are no cars, no people and all I can hear is the wind.  It really is amazing and I keep taking deep breaths and marveling at the wonder of it all.  I’m on an amazing spiritual journey.  I mean I must be, right? Look at where I am!

I feel a bit twitchy though.  It’s hard to truly appreciate the insignificance of your being when you’re twitchy.  I’ll just have a quick biscuit and then get back to the spirituality.   I think the words are actually coming out of my mouth as I write them.  I wonder if I always do that? 

Ok.  I’m better for having that biscuit.  It’s amazing how distracted you can get by hunger.  I’m definitely feeling more Zen now.  I wish that beetle would do one though.  I hadn’t really factored in the wildlife.  I know the beetle has more right to sit on this rock than me but does it really need to be that close?

I wonder what animals come out at night?  It’s all well and good sleeping under the stars but what if something crawls on me?  I might just get Mr. BP to seal me inside my sleeping bag with pegs.  I knew those pegs would come in useful.

This isn’t really going as planned.    Maybe I’m just not a very spiritual person.  I’m not even sure what people mean by “spiritual” but I think you would need to have a quiet mind to be spiritual.  Mine is quite noisy.  Maybe that’s why living in London suits me; it drowns out the noise in my head.  Ooh!  That’s quite an introspective thought isn’t it?  Maybe I am a spiritual being after all and not just a big twat sat on a rock in a desert talking to herself?

Hmm...I think that may be the limit of my enlightenment and it looks like the sun is going down.  The bloke said something about keeping the sun over my left shoulder and the rock on my right I think.  But I'm turning round though so that's probably all different now isn't it? Or may be the whole turning back thing is already factored into the shoulder positioning.  Actually, I'm not sure if it was the sun that was supposed to be over my left shoulder or the rock.  Which rock are we talking about anyway?  They all look the same.

Oh bugger...